A couple of months ago my dad came down to visit an old friend from his teen years way back in the 1950s. WOW! On the way home from Olivenhain we sprung Medieval Times on him. He was confused. Fair enough, Buena Park is totally not King Arthur's court. Not even close, which is exactly what makes it so awesome.
At turns, our time at the tournament was hilarious and entirely worthwhile, if only because it was so bizarrely corny and creepy. But I just gotta say I felt terrible for the horses. Particularly the sweet boo boo horse that had to do all that bullshit prancing around.
*REAL TALK: Honestly, what horse wants to bounce around on its hind legs while some long-haired fake olden times hessian whips its ass with a twig? Zero. None. Not even one horse wants to do that. Walking backwards and sideways... c'mon. So embarrassing. Really, people wanna see that? Dumb. And man, it made that poor horse so tired. Like, just exhausted. Rivers of hot white snot streaming from its nostrils. Foam flying from the mouth. Hind quarters shuddering from the strain of hopping around on those rear hooves. So dumb. Soooooooo excruciatingly dumb.
And the whole time an annoying announcer asshole wearing a headset blabbing about "the tradition of horse and master... blah blah blah...."
Fuck all that noise.
Bubbas should be freeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!