Breaker of condoms? Doubtful but, eh, maybe. Looking at those delicate hands I'd have to say Julian Assange doesn't really look the type. Just sayin'.
So... on that note, I have a few things I'd like to get off my mind.
- Dear Sweden,
Sweden, I've always liked you so much. But now I sho nuff got da bloooooze... Buh nuh nuh nuh nuh. Between today's several news reports on CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Drudge, BBC World News, Huffington Post, etc.., I must say I'm feeling terribly embarrassed for you right now. My friends, I suspect you've somehow allowed the U.S. to cajole you into conning a couple o' sassy Swedish lassies into making dubious claims regarding Assange's sexual conduct. Bummer. You're compliance in this incident is moronic and cynical.
Hopefully, most folks following this story in Sweden and around the world will see this situation for what it is— a blatant move to silence freedom of speech and freedom of the press. Say what you will about Julian Assange and think whatever you want about Wikileaks and the "big dump" of all those classified documents, but the "sex crimes" charges seem hastily fabricated to muzzle him and shouldn't be tolerated as legitimate by any thinking person.
By the way, the first time I ever saw the sex act known as fisting was on prime time television in SWEDEN, for Christ's sake. That the head prosecuting attorney of this liberal, pro-nasty nation is now running to Interpol over a couple of broken condoms is simply not to be believed. Beyond asinine. Real talk.
- Dear Hillary and the U.S. State Department,
That trumped up "sex crimes" would be your strategy for getting INTERPOL to issue an "International Wanted Persons Alert" for Julian Assange's arrest is just...shockingly corny. Hillary, really? This is your methodology for bringing him to justice? Seems weird, if not all too terribly contrived. There's no 'art' in the artifice here. I love my country and my world, but the way you're handling this thing is just entirely embarrassing to the U.S. and every other political actor caught up in this drama, (perhaps even more so than the actual leaked documents themselves). Dumb.
- Dear Interpol,
Way to go guys. Your willingness to issue Sweden's request for an international warrant reveals you to be just another goon squad. The world's biggest gang. Awesome.
- Dear Intelligence Community,
Between all of that phony 'Weapons of Mass Destruction' bullshit in Iraq ten years ago and then wire-tapping the entire planet after passage of Patriot Acts I & II, you fakers definitely had these Wikileaks coming. Smoke and mirrors. Half-baked technologies. Trillions of dollars down the tubes. All in pursuit of what? Control. Dominance. Maintenance. Zzzzz....
That Wikileaks has your documents in its hands says more about the ineptitude of your security and intelligence gathering protocols than it does about the journalistic mandate of the Wikileaks organization. If anything, Assange has done you baffoons a favor. Maybe you'll now revamp your operations to secure those transglobal diplomatic cables a little better.
YOU ARE A COWARD. Really, no bail for an Australian guy accused of failing to properly use condoms while shagging a couple of Swedish broads? Really? Ri-dick-ulous. That you didn't have the gumption to call out this hackneyed charade for exactly what it is makes you a shill. This could have been your moment to make a significant difference in the course of these political and media events. Instead you acted like a tosser.
That you whackos would cut off your financial services to Wikileaks in effort to kill their fund raising efforts is the height of hypocrisy, (but not at all surprising). You fuckers will take money, sell money, borrow money, beg money, and steal money from every single kind of saint and scumbag this world has to offer. Mobsters, gangsters, drug cartels, human traffickers, weapons smugglers, child pornographers, political organizations, charity groups, Wall Street bankers, car dealerships, mortgage lenders, Hollywood producers, the richest rich, and the poorest poor— absolutely everybody. You'll transfer funds and charge transaction fees to anyone with a debit card and blood flowing through a functional finger.
And yet, when an organization like Wikileaks reveals too much of what goes on behind the veil, you rush to financially cripple their efforts. Is this to be expected? Yes. Is it disgusting nonetheless? Definitely. Same goes for PayPal and Amazon.com. You're a real pack of bastards.
- Dear Wikileaks Volunteers,
Prior to all this hoo-ha I was neither pro nor con when it came to the Wikileaks organization or its efforts. Until recently I wasn't even aware of what you do or how or why you do it. However, after reading the Wikileaks mandate, I can say you stand for values I can get behind, (even if I don't entirely appreciate the vibe of your Editor-in-Chief Julian Assange):
"WikiLeaks is a non-profit media organization dedicated to bringing important news and information to the public. We provide an innovative, secure and anonymous way for independent sources around the world to leak information to our journalists. We publish material of ethical, political and historical significance while keeping the identity of our sources anonymous, thus providing a universal way for the revealing of suppressed and censored injustices." —wikileaks.org/about.html
No matter what happens in the coming weeks and months, I'm glad you've made it this far.
So after all this venting and raving where am I on this crap situation?
Right about here:
Sorry, just kidding.
Regardless of whether you, 1) like Assange or not, 2) care about Wikileaks or not, or 3) believe the organization's massive diplomatic cables dump is positive or negative, even the dumbest among us has got to see that Assange's arrest is a politically-motivated prosecution.
Will the outing of these cables bring the end of the world? No. Is it embarrassing to the U.S. and our various partners around the world? Yes. Will it change the color and shape of U.S. foreign relations for a few years to come? Maybe, but not too radically. The wheels are in motion and they're too big to screech to a halt. Does the wikileaks dump unequivocably prove American diplomats at embassies around the world are being tapped by the intelligence community as auxiliary spies? Yes.
Does it reveal the considerable efforts of political, military, and governmental figures around the world to systematically undermine the will of their constituent populations? Yes. Does it showcase graft, kickbacks, bribery, conspiracy, and murder on a grand scale? Yes. Does it suggest that mainstream media works hand-in-glove to keep relevant news out of the news? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes... Yes.
But life is what it is. Much of it is complicated and ugly. Much of it is stupid and selfish. Governments are corrupt. Resources are scare. Death is easy.
All that said, the story of these leaked documents is fascinating and troubling, the outcome of which has very real implications for how news reporting, freedom of speech, and notions of a "free press" will be navigated going forward in our young 21st Century. The power of the Internet has changed how information is disseminated, how sources are protected, and how readers engage in the economic, social, and political processes of our world. In real-time you're watching the powers-that-be trying to curtail the Internet and shove the genie back in the bottle. For major banking institutions and governments to get so publicly involved, clearly a lot of powerful people are tripping balls over Mr. Julian and his little news-leaking organization.
If you give a good goddamn about your world, your life, your neighbor... then you may want to pay attention to how this whole Wikileaks debacle rolls out. They're either going to get squashed or they're going to emerge more robust for having scattered their servers to the wind. As for the Intelligence Community, they too will likely learn from this battle and tighten up their efforts.
So the next time some asshole spouts a cornball cliche like "shoot the messenger" or "it was a set up," just try to remember this moment in international news. If you've ever wondered what sort of activity constitutes a bonafide conspiracy, get a good look— this is it.
If you believe in free speech and freedom of the press, and if you believe that whistleblowers deserve protection not persecution, then I've probably not written anything herein that you don't already know.
It is a big, weird world. Liberal or Conservative, Democrat or Repubican, religious or agnostic, rich, middle class, or poor, natural born citizen or immigrant— you have the right and the opportunity to take part in life in big and small ways every day until the day you die. Flex your head, think about your world. This is all I'm trying to say.
Be well, good night.